Kids may not only focus in on and hear what we say to them directly, but they also hear conversations around them. While some discussions might seem less significant to adults, they can be damaging to children. Experts gave parents five categories of topics they should avoid talking about around children-and the importance of the topic.

1. Criticism of Body:
Whether you are referring to your own body or someone else’s, talking negatively about weight or appearance causes subsequent damage. Children hear these things and internalize them. Whether it is jokingly saying, “Ugh, I look terrible today” (out loud in front of them) may lead them to later having body-image issues or a lower self-esteem than they otherwise would. Additionally, even if you give your kids compliments like “Geez! You look great next to your sister!” can drive your child to want to have nothing to do with their sibling or feel bad about their own appearance compared to their sibling.

2. Speaking Negatively About Other Caregivers
When parents, caregivers, or guardians speak negatively about another parent, caregiver or guardian in a child’s presence, the child can feel guilt or loyalty conflict. They may feel pressured to pick sides, blame themselves, or feel the end result is on their shoulders while the adults are in conflict. Even if you as a parent do not agree with how they parent, you lose bonds where children need to feel love and connection. If there is conflict between the child’s parents, caregivers, or guardians, they should treat each other respectfully now and in front of children especially when they do not agree.

3. Sibling Comparisons
Comparison can breed jealousy, competition, and resentment—whether it is a positive or negative comparison. It may not seem harmful to say to one child “you’re calm like your brother is not calm,” but it may put pressure on that child to remain “good” and make the other child appear “bad.” Positive comparisons also promote rivalry and build unhealthy dynamics. Every child should be thought of as individual and different, with distinct attributes

4. Financial Conversations
A lot of parents think their kids won’t comprehend the financial stress of parenting—but often, it is the opposite. Even when parents are venting negative feelings about money regarding losing their home, or being unable to afford the basics, kids are hearing the burden and may be overwhelmed and anxious or feel guilty for taking money from the family. Instead of saying, “we are out of money” while discussing your financial situation, you may say, “we are saving so we can make intentional and smart choices.”

5. Promoting Alcohol or Drugs
A casual off-hand comment like “Let’s celebrate with a drink!” places a child in the position of omposing their perception of substance use. It does not take long before kids think that drinking or drug use is normal and potentially glamorous. The best parental advice is to think before speaking, model responsible use of substance, and refrain from making things such as alcohol or drugs casual or otherwise.

Be cognizant of your phrasing: Kids take cues from your tone, context, and emotions.
Be calm and honest: When it comes to explaining adult things, be straightforward and assure of their safety.
Be selective of examples: Be respectful in describing others, and yourself.

Also Read: This One Common Gym Mistake Can Lead To Long-Term Injury, Doctors Warn

If parents can avoid suggesting harmful discussions and substitute for intentional, positive discussions, they may support their child with a confidence fostering home environment that builds their security and relationships.

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